No Ordinary Day

Very well-said!

Read This If You’re The Eternally Single Friend – http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/08/read-this-if-youre-the-eternally-single-friend/

My close friends know how allergic I am to the word Dating. I always tend to avoid using this word even if it is used in a friendly sense. And believe it or not, I literally shudder whenever I hear this word. Blame Joshua Harris and his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I have build in my mind a negative connotation of the word dating. ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ has somehow became my life mantra.

That said, I believe you now have an idea that I don’t really go on dating so writing this post is truly quite a challenge. In fact, I’ve been meaning to post this for months but I just simply can’t finish it. I must confess that I am not really comfortable hanging out with a guy alone even if I know we’re just friends so I really don’t have much dating experience to share.

Fortunately, I still have something to share. This has happened several years ago and I am confident to say that it was really a date. Actually, it’s not something embarassing but rather awkward since the guy who asked me out was a friend. I consider him as one of my closest guy friend from high school. We became friends because he was my seatmate in 3rd year and then for some reason, we got closer as friends after college and we used to text more regularly back then. Because he was brokenhearted that time, I became his confidante. In all honesty, I never thought of any possibility of being romantically involved with him so I was surprised when he suddenly asked me if I would want to go out and watch a movie with him. Since I have this auto-friendzone feature, I thought it was a friendly hangout so I said yes. Then he told me later that it’s a date so yeah, it’s technically a date.

He asked me what movie I want to watch so I told him Alice in Wonderland and he agreed. So we watched Alice and he paid for it. Then after the movie, we ate dinner (I just can’t remember where). Looking back, I think it didn’t went well. Yes, we talked a lot but I admit I was really feeling awkward the whole time. It’s maybe because I can’t shake off some questions running at the back my mind during that time.

‘What are we doing?’
‘Why did he asked me out?’
‘What if our high school friends find out about this meeting and what would they say?’
‘How would I answer them?’

Because I don’t have the courage to voice out my questions back then, I chose to remain silent and tried to ignore those questions.
We still remained friends after that but no one dared to mention that ‘date’ once again. Then life happens and we lost communication. Though we are still friends in facebook, we don’t communicate anymore (same with my other high school friends). The last thing I’ve heard about him is that he’s already married.

So there goes my non-existent dating life.

I’ve always wanted to write more regularly in this blog, regardless of my mood but writing is starting to become a challenge lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more emotionally stable now or it’s because I just really don’t know how to put my emotions and thoughts into writing. To help me get some writing prompt, I want to list down some posts that I really wanted to write about but I just can’t find the will and energy to write it.

1. My Life Verse
2. My Wedding Song playlist
3. My favorite fictional character
4. Review of my favorite movies
5. This year’s playlist
6. Single Woman Blogging Questions

There. I hope I make time for it soon.

 

“So, please wait for me. For your sake and my own, wait. Wait because God is telling you to wait. Wait because you have more growing to do. Wait because I have more growing to do. And wait because it will be worth it. Because at the end of the day, the reason I’m not pursuing you yet is because I’m just not ready. And the reason you’re not being pursued by me yet is that you’re just not ready. So join with me in individually submitting to God…Even if that means that there actually isn’t a Mr. or Mrs. Right waiting for us… Can we be ok with that? Can we trust God and be okay with whatever the outcome, knowing that we have already received all we need in His Son? That’s a hard question, but until you’re in a place where you’re okay with never getting married, you won’t be in a place where I will be able to pursue you.”

An open letter from Mr. Right.

Since I admit that my previous post is quite heavy to read, I’ll post something light and funny. I’m trying do some spring cleaning of my room today and I came across with my college journal. I tried to read some pages and I can’t help laughing at myself with the way I tried to write my thoughts in english, haha! I’m glad I was able to chronicle some of my best college moments and I’m no longer ashamed to share it with the world now. ;D

According to my journal, 2nd Sem of my second year in college was my best sem ever because:

• I got my higest grade ever (1.25 in SocSci 2). I got a grade of flat 1 the year after, though. (See how grade-conscious I am back in college, haha!)
• I had the coolest professors. We’re still friends in fb even today. 😀
• I had track and field for P.E. and I met my ultimate college crush there. I even remember calling him ‘soulmate’ (don’t worry, he’s married now). 😀

If Love is all you need and God is Love, then God is all you need.

I always feel frustrated whenever I hear my friends complain about their being single and alone. Actually, I’m starting to get tired of listening to their rants or even watching them chase love in wrong places and wrong person, even if I always remind them that if you really want to find love, you need to seek God first.

Well, I can’t blame them because who am I to teach them about love anyway when I haven’t been in a romantic relationship? I even heard one of them say that NBSB women are idealistic people because they haven’t experience being brokenhearted, and honestly, it’s kind of hurtful to hear them say that.

But then again, when I think about it, that’s exactly the reason why I never dared to enter in a romantic relationship just for the sake of experience. I’ve seen so many hearts being broken because people let their romantic feelings lead their actions. And most of the time, what most people thought as ‘love’ are  mere romantic feelings. Since feelings come and go, romantic feelings can also come and go and that is where problem in romantic relationships comes in. Love is a commitment so unless two people are committed to work on their relationship, their romantic relationship wouldn’t stand the test of time. Because we humans are really made for relationships, the human tendency is to continue to search and to seek for love until their deepest longing for love and relationship are met.  But as what St. Augustine has once said, ‘The human heart is restless until it finds itself in God.’

So unless a person will decide to seek God instead of seeking love in wrong places and person, his/her quest for love will be in vain. And once he/she realized that it’s all vanity to search for love, he/she will become become bitter and resentful.

Yes, I’m generalizing this way because I believe this is a universal truth and pattern. But going back to my main point, to end this vain pursuit of human love, one must start looking for love with the right person – Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it enough before  that I’m a Relient K fan. Yes, I love Relient K and their songs so I never fail play my Relient K playlist whenever I listen to music. For some reason, the song Let It All Out has been playing in my playlist for several weeks now and the song always gets me at the chorus:

And you said I know that this will hurt But if I don’t break your heart then things will just get worse If the burden seems too much to bear Remember The end will justify the pain it took to get us there

The song has never been my favorite among the RK songs. It’s maybe because of its gloomy and sad melody. Since I don’t really like the song that much, I don’t intentionally listen to it and take note of the lyrics. Not until recently

Because the chorus has finally got my attention, I decided to listen to the entire song and take note of its message and lyrics. It was only after I listenend to the song completely that I found out that this RK song is the anthem of my life at the moment. I believe I’m at the point where God is really putting me in a purifying process to remove all impurities and sin in my life. And I tell you, it is a really painful process. But I don’t resent it because I know I’ve asked for it. I asked God to mold me and make me so that He can use me for the advancement of His kingdom.

I remember a few months ago, a friend posted a video (or audio) about a talk on homosexuality and sexual immorality in fb. Then he asked me if I’ve seen his post and asked  how does our church view or treat the subject. I listened to the audio and really tried to understand the message. Although honestly I didn’t get the guy’s conclusion on the subject in the end, I gave him my answer anyway. This is what I told him:

Our church remains true to the Biblical principles that  homosexuality and sexual immorality is a sin. The Bible is clear about it because if not, why did God have to destroy the entire cities of Sodom and Gomora because of that practice. A number of accounts and teachings on homosexuality and sexual immorality are also present in the New Testament, such as in Romans 1.

How we treat it, hate the sin, not the sinner.  Love the person but don’t tolerate the action. Tell them that it’s wrong but be patient and more understanding that it’s really difficult to break old habits.

Our encouragement is that if anyone is in Christ, Christ can change him and help him to become the person God has intended him to be. Let the grace of God operate in his/her life but the person should cooperate with God by making that conscious effort to stop the practice.

And yes, we don’t encourage labeling people negatively because God also said in the Bible that, ‘if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. His old (sinful) nature was gone so the church should help him/her to live his/her new identity in Christ.

Actually, during that time, what I told him was based solely on our previous discussion with my bible study leader and my personal study of the bible. Our church have not tackled the subject in detail yet. Maybe because we all have a common understanding of the issue.  Little did I know that this topic will be brought up again and now I really feel the need to speak up and stand for God’s Truth.

It’s been 3 days since that  Supreme Court Decision on the legalization of gay marriage in the US was announced but my heart is still heavy and breaking until now. I am deeply saddened by this recent turn of events in the world history. What saddens me most is how the church is being divided by this issue.

I do have a lot of gay friends and I love them. I am also sure that they know that I love them. But I will not celebrate with the rest of the world because of this US Declaration. Because I don’t agee with it and I don’t want it to happen in our country.   I am in grief because sin has always corresponding consequences. God cannot be mocked and we will always reap what we sow. And what the US government did is a declaration of war in heaven and I don’t want to imagine what could happen next. But I’m afraid it’s not impossible that this country will soon follow the US leading.

Lord, have mercy.

If I were to describe the state of my heart at the moment, this song has perfectly describe what I’m really feeling for the past few weeks:

With all the tensions happening in the world today, and the sorrow I’m feeling in seeing how this world is going as what the Bible has described in the last days, I really can’t help but feel homesick and long for the coming back of Jesus. But I also know that it would be so selfish of me to ask God to comeback soon when I know that there are still a lot of people who are yet to hear the good news.