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I don’t know why I always get teary-eyed whenever I listen to this song.

Reckless Trust. Naked Faith.
These are the recurring themes of my quiet time with God for the past few months. God knows how willing I am to be used by Him for His kingdom but every time I try to take the first step, things get in the way and I get discouraged and feel trapped so I can’t move on. Praise God for this video for it is really an encouragement. What I need is a major heart operation and I know it will be very painful.

Will you please pray for me? I really want to win this battle but I know I can’t do it alone. Your prayers will be very much appreciated. Thank you.

    “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’
    ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.    
     Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.
     “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
     “The first,” they answered.
Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him. (Matthew 21:28-32)

I hate to admit it but between the two sons from the parable, I can identify myself more with the second son. God knows how guilty I am when it comes to commiting the sin of omission. Everytime  God reveals something new to me, I always tend to answer, ‘yes Lord, I’ll do it.’ Or sometimes I’ll say, ‘yeah Lord, you’re totally right and I agree with you!’. Then I will think about what I‘ve learned for a long time until I totally forgot the things that God has told me to do.

When I was a younger Christian, I thought that it was okay. I mean, I thought it’s ok to think about God most of the time. It was only this year (or maybe late last year) when I finally realized that God does not want the Truth He revealed to me to just remain as an idea. He wants me to really act on it and take a step of faith. And God will not stop until I’ve learned to apply it and has eventually became part of me, even if I have to go through it for several times.

So what have I learned from this process? Doing the will of God requires cooperation on my part. He is very much willing to accomplish great things through me but I need to put myself in proper position where I can easily receive the grace He has poured out on me. I need to unlimit God by taking the necessary step of faith he requires from me.

Hello there! Welcome to Day 10 of The Single Woman blogging challenge.

Today’s challenge is quite interesting because honestly, I haven’t really thought about what google says about my name. Although I have some idea on the meaning of my name (I’ve read somewhere before that Cary means ‘courage’ and the Bible says my surname Isaac means ‘he laughs’), I never thought how my name suits my personality.

For a start, let me share to you my complete name…

Since google can’t find the meaning of my name Carygine, I’ll just display the result when I googled the meaning of Cary and here’s the result:

As to how it fits with my personality, I think I will agree with the description. The description fits with my ISTP personality type. I also agree that I tend to focus more on big issues rather than the superficial ones.

The meaning of my last name also fits with my personality type because I am really a jolly person by nature.

I know I’ve already said it in my IG account but I want to elaborate it further here.

I believe one thing that God is teaching me lately, and I know He really wanted me to learn and apply it, is to discard the myth about trying to live a balanced life, that is if I truly want to bear much fruit this year.

I’ve heard it for several times last year that the key to a good life is to maintain a balance of everything. Do ministry but don’t forget to spend time with your loved ones. Read good books but it’s ok to read out of your comfort zone from time to time. Learn to enjoy life but don’t forget your responsibilities.

I believe in all of them so I was really trying hard to get that superwoman out of me to maintain the balance. However, I ended up exhausted and restless all the time.

Praise the Lord that God has somehow corrected that faulty thought in me, sometime last year. I’ve read several articles and books about the benefits of simplifying my life, and they have made a great impact on me. It’s part of human nature to collect and try to accumulate a lot of stuff so we collect and collect, only to find out later that the things we have acquired are not those that really matter. I am a collector of nice and fancy things like notebooks and pens so I was really guilty of it as well. So as an application, I am now trying to STOP the buying and accumulation of things that are not really essential.

Going back to my point, I’ve learned that living a life pleasing to God is not about trying to maintain a balanced life but living a life that is TOTALLY surrendered to Him. Yes, God allowed me believe that I should maintain a balanced life for a long time but I ended up settling for mediocrity. I just allowed myself to just go through the motions so I have failed in giving my highest honor to God. So God is now starting to stir up my heart and push me to a higher level. But in order for me to reach that next level, I really need to pass the test and let go of the things that I’ve been holding on for too long. I need to give up the things that have become my idols, the things that I really love very much, so that I will have more room for God and the better blessings that He will give me. I need to empty me of me so that I will be filled more with His presence.

So there’s no balance there right? In the economy of God, we will never have a full and satisfying life unless we surrender our entire life to Jesus. Jesus said, ‘whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.‘ (Matthew  10:38)

I tell you, it’s really hard because I myself is really struggling about it. But then I made this commitment to God earlier this year that I will devote myself to Him so I believe this is His answer. All I need is to respond in Faith.

Will you please pray for me once again? I really want to experience great miracles this year but I know in my heart that I lack faith and courage to make the first step that God is asking me to do. Please pray for me that God will increase my faith and give me boldness to act on the things that He’s asking me to do. And please pray for my protection also because the Enemy is also doing his usual job to distract me. I really want to stand firm in faith but I know I can’t do it alone so your prayers are very much appreciated.

Thank you.

So last week, I attended our church’s National Cell (Small Group) Leader’s Summit in Marikina City. The summit aims to gather all the leaders in our ministry from the different parts of the country to encourage everyone to continue in our walk with God and in our personal ministry to accomplish the vision entrusted to us. I believe God has really chosen this Church for me, so when I first learned about the vision that this Body of Christ wants to accomplish, I was already sold out to it and it has become my personal desire to take part in accomplishing this vision. The vision imparted to me is this:

“A multitude of disciples committed to evangelism and disciple-making, reaching the whole world for Christ.”

This vision was based on the promise given to our leader through Isaiah 60:22, ‘The least of you will become a thousand, the smallest a mighty nation. I am the Lord, in its time, I will do this swiftly.’ God has made clear to me earlier in my Christian life that this vision is the ultimate purpose of my life. This is the reason why Jesus Christ revealed Himself to me in a very personal way. I am  convinced that to accomplish this vision,  I have to carry out our mission, which is, ‘

To fulfill Christ’s Great Commission by making disciples and reproducible disciple-making ministries’. I was also convinced of what my Bible Study Leader always tells me that I am a multitude so it has never really occurred to me, in all honesty, to leave this ministry.

Going back to the Summit, one of the things that’s really striking to me during the message was the message spoken by our national director, Kuya Boni Arzedon. He said that poverty is one of the consequences or results of SIN. In order to break this Sin, people need to personally meet and encounter Jesus so if we really want this country to prosper, we really have to disciple this nation, and I believe that this is really true.
As someone who is working for the government, particularly in the development sector, this message is relevant to me. One of the biggest problems of our country that our government really wants to address is poverty. This is very evident in the current Philippine Development Plan whose overarching goal is poverty reduction and inclusive growth. Though most people don’t really know it (maybe because of too much misinformation shared by the media), the government people are really working hard to address poverty but to be also honest, we are not actually doing well in this area. Even I, personally, am already starting to feel hopeless about it.

I know God has already revealed this insight to me before, during one of my quiet time two years ago, so I was really encouraged to work harder in discipling this nation when I heard it again from our Pastor. Why am I so convinced about this? Because I believe that what this country needs are not brilliant leaders and new strategies in addressing poverty but behavioral change among the people. I’ve learned this truth during my training in Japan last year. I believe that our country has better laws and policies compared to Japan. We also have better and more brilliant people and yes, we are more blessed with beautiful and natural resources compared to the Japanese but I think what makes their country more progressive than ours is the discipline of their people. The Japanese have a truly beautiful others-centric culture that’s why they are really obedient to the law and to their leaders, without even complaining, which this country is really lacking. Whether we accept it or not, the Filipino culture is far from being others-centric. Think about of how much we complain when a new law or policy is introduced when it doesn’t suit our tastes. And think about how much we blame our leaders when everything goes wrong, instead of becoming a part of the solution. So yes, this country really needs a major heart surgery. The Filipinos need a major behavioral change and this impossible without the help from Christ. The Filipinos need Jesus, and Jesus alone.

Prayer:

Our gracious and heavenly Father, just like what Daniel has done and prayed long time ago, I humbly come before you on behalf of my countrymen. Lord we claim and declare that Jesus is the Lord and God of this country. We confess that we have sinned against You. We have been rebellious by following other gods in our life and we have not keep your commands. But You are a loving and merciful God. So we ask for your forgiveness and we pray that you deliver this country from the bondage of sin. Lord, let your glory be revealed in this nation by changing the heart of our people. Let this be a nation who seek God and confess that Jesus is Lord. As what Daniel has said, ‘we do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear Your name. Lord, you are the God of this country. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I don’t know why but I think I have come to a point where social media posts doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I mean everything I see in my newsfeed now are all the same. Even the articles I see are all tiring to read. Perhaps I really should start detoxyfying myself from the noise of the virtual community.