It’s the time of the year again to sit down and think about how God has been faithful to me throughout the year. As you may recall, I was a little bit apprehensive to face the new year last January. I was afraid of the things that will unfold in 2017 because the previous year was generally difficult for me and my family. But then God assured me that I need not to be afraid because He is always in control. The word He gave to me as my guide for the whole year was Jeremiah 33. It was a promise of restoration. I particularly claimed His promise in Jeremiah 33:3: “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and  unsearchable things you do not know.” Indeed, 2017 was a year when I get to know God at a different level. It’s a year of restoration, abundant peace and security. The year has been great for me not only in my personal ministry but also in my family and even in my work. Let me now share to you some the things that God has done for me in 2017:

1. Birthday Celebration with my family. This year’s celebration  of my birthday was a little extra special because I celebrated it with my parents. I can’t even remember when was the last time I celebrated my birthday with my family. If I recall it right, I think  I was still in high school or even in elementary when we celebrated my birthday as a complete family.  But I don’t resent it because I understand that birthday celebrations  have to be  that way because of our circumstances. I got so used to celebrating my birthday either alone or with my friends that I’ve learned how to make my birthday celebrations more meaningful every year, with or without my family. So this year, God has given me the grace to celebrate it with them. 🙂 Plus, He answered my three specific birthday requests which I will share later.
2. Free local and international travels. Two of the things I asked from God for  my birthday were free local and international travels. I wasn’t able to travel much in 2016 because I realized that travel isn’t everything. I came to a point where I thought the places I’ve been to looked all the same to me so it’s no longer exciting. Plus, our situation in 2016 would not allow me to stay out of town for a long time. But then I thought maybe I should try traveling again and see if I can look at it in a different perspective. So I ask God to allow me to go to different places in the country and  allow me to travel abroad again this year, and God was gracious to answer my prayer. I’ve been to at least four new provinces (Dipolog, Antique, Baler and Dinapigue, Isabela) and I was able to go back to two of my favorite places in the country (Palawan and Iloilo). God has also allowed me to travel to Thailand for the first time.  All of these travels are for free so I was spared from spending too much on experience. The places I’ve been to this year still all looked the same to me but what makes each place special are the people I get to spend time with during these travels. The journey going to these places are also notable so I praise God  for these experiences.
   

   

3. National Cell Leaders’ Summit (NCLS) 2017. The NCLS was one of the things I’ve been looking forward to in 2017.  Although I’m not sure at first if I will be able to meet the requirement for attending the summit, by faith, I claimed that I will be able to go and see my friends from other ministry areas. True enough God has arranged the circumstances so I would be able to meet the requirements and attend the summit. It was  indeed a refreshing and encouraging time with my brethren from all over the country.  During the summit, God has reminded me to take my commitment to Him seriously and realize the urgency of the Gospel.
   

   

4. New ministry areas and clearer ministry direction. One of the things I prayed to God at the start of the year was to grant me a clearer ministry direction. I was also challenged to ask God where He would want to use me in the advancement of His kingdom. So right after the  NCLS, I was instructed to stay at my place in  Quezon City because He is about to start a ministry in the area. Before the summit, I’ve already decided to move out and transfer to a place nearer to my work place. But few days before we transfer, God challenged me to abandon my plan and told me to stay. It was not an easy decision to stay, but for every argument I present to God, He always have an answer. So even if it’s hard, I have to obey God and chose to stay. Later, I realized it was not a bad decision after all. God has indeed made my personal ministry a little easier for me this year by opening up new ministry opportunities near my workplace.  I also now have an idea where God wants to use. As bonus, He also answered my prayer to open up ministry opportunity in one of the places I’m praying for after my LDI in 2013.
5. New and Rekindled Friendships. If there’s one thing that made my 2017 a colorful year, it’s the time I spent with my friends  not only from the ministry but also from other circles. I used to complain a few years ago about how having so many circle of friends can also be disadvantageous. So I intentionally distanced myself from old friends and decided to focus in the ministry. I don’t know what happened but I got more social this year. Not the drink and be merry type of social, but more on hanging out with friends to catch up. I’m glad that after four years, I was able to go and hang out with my LDI batchmates from Metro Manila. I also enjoyed every conversation I had with my friends from work every lunch. The new prayer meeting group I joined this year also gave me new opportunities to meet new friends and know more people from church. Lastly, God has also provided me opportunities to spend more time with my old high school and college friends.

These are just some of the things that I want to praise God for.  I still don’t know what to look forward to in 2018 but I trust God that it will be another great year.

As someone who’s NBSB (no boyfriend since birth), I don’t think I can say much about this topic. But for the sake of finishing this challenge (my gosh Cary, it’s so long overdue!!), let me try again.

As earlier said, break up is a foreign experience to me. I think the closest thing to break up that I’ve experienced was when I learned that ex-office crush and I will no longer be officemates. I was depressed for about a week because of that. Would that count as difficult breakup?! ???

Kidding aside, if there’s one thing that I’m thankful for God, it is the blessing of keeping me from the painful experience of romantic breakups. He is so faithful in honoring my prayer to keep and guard my heart until I’m ready for a lifetime commitment. I know that heartaches and painful experiences can teach us some very import lessons so I really admire those people who are not afraid to try and fall in love over and over again even if they can end up hurting in the end. But I also believe that sometimes, we don’t need to learn some important lessons through  first-hand experience. We can learn from the success and even mistakes of others. So I never considered entering into a romantic relationship just for the sake of experience.

Okay, next question please…

So yesterday, I finally gave in to the hype and watched the classic Beauty and the Beast. I love the story of Beauty and the Beast because it teaches us the lesson of not looking at the outer appearance to see the worth and beauty of a person, but to look for the beauty within. Stories like Beauty and the Beast and The Little Prince, where the famous line “what is essential is invisible to the eyes” came from, are just examples of the tools that strengthened my mindset that physical appearance is unimportant.

As I was watching how the love story between Belle and Beast progresses in the movie, especially in the part where they are singing “Something There,” I can’t help but wonder, is this really what true love is? Does it really start with nothing (or disgust in the case of Belle), and then you will discover a small part of a person’s character that you’ll find beautiful, and slowly it will grow into something more, until you will see nothing but the beauty of the character of the person? Or isn’t it something that starts with physical attraction, like a beautiful smile or eyes, and then you will feel your stomach flutter and your heart beat faster than usual when you’re around that person you feel attracted to?

Though I always say that character is more important to me than physical appearance, I think I still prefer the second type of love story. I want my future love story to start with physical attraction, and later I will also discover his beauty within. I’m holding on to the truth that God is gracious to give me a man with a godly character whom I also find physically attractive. I want a prince through and through, so maybe for now, I’ve decided not to settle for a prince clothed in a beast’s clothing but to wait for that prince who’s a valiant knight on a noble steed.

This question is quite related to my previous post in my letter to my past, present, and future self. My previous letter was addressed to my 15-year-old self. I was in the 4th year of high school back then. So, for this challenge, let me go back a year earlier to have a conversation with my 14-year-old self in my 3rd year in high school. I actually don’t know what to say to my younger self because I can’t remember anymore what my issues were back then. So let me try again…

“Hey, Cary! I saw that. I know what, or perhaps who, you are looking at from this window.”

“Who are you?!”

“It doesn’t matter, but I know you’re staring at that guy with the blue shoes. Maybe you’re also secretly praying that you’ll share the same ride on your way back home, later.”

“How did you know that?”

“Well, been there, done that. I’m sorry to tell you, but what you’re hoping for is never going to happen, and that’s okay.”

“What about our prom next year? Isn’t he going to ask me to dance?”

“Duh, as if you care about dancing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t.”

“But don’t worry, you’ll not end up in the all-girls section next year. Your cool adviser will find a partner for you. Anyway, that’s not the reason why I came all the way back to this distant past and brought some news about your prom. I came here to tell you a very important message, and I hope you will listen carefully.

I know you’re now starting to get anxious and feel that you don’t seem to fit in. Maybe you also feel weird that you don’t have that someone you can call a best friend. It’s okay. You’ll get by with a little help from your close friends. You are a strong girl, so you won’t need a constant somebody to lean on, especially in this current chapter of your life. Just cherish the happy moments with your high school friends because that will be the only thing that will hold you together later in life. Don’t also feel bad that no one is romantically pursuing you right now. You will thank God later for that because it will spare you from a lot of heartaches.”

“Who says that I want to be in a relationship right now?! My priority is my studies. I’m too young for that!”

“I know. But believe me, later you’ll feel envious of your classmates who have secret admirers, and you will feel insecure and unloved. So you have to keep this in mind: you are beautiful, and you are loved. So stay bubbly and carefree as you are.”

“Thanks, I think I need that. Though I still don’t understand what you are saying.”

“Later you will understand. Sorry, I have to go. You will hear again from me soon.”

Listened to this song again after some long, long time. I used to love this song for its melody but now I love it for its lyrics.

Wildflower Lyrics (Skylark)

I feel like I’m in a crossroad nowadays. I have a feeling there will be great changes coming in the next few days  or even months both in my personal ministry and personal life, and I believe these will all happen in the coming year -2017. Yes, I am feeling hopeful and excited about the coming new year but at the same time, I’m a bit scared of what might happen in the next 12 months. I’ve been praying to God for growth and maturity for a long time now and I know that God will answer my prayer. But knowing God, I know that His way of answering my prayer will not be easy. There will be a lot of growing pains and great joy at the same to make sure that I will not only grow in the process but also to let me experience His great love and amzing grace. Most importantly, He wants me to know Him more intimately and love Him more deeply.

I’ve been told to ask for God’s Word for guidance but I’ve been putting off my plan to spend quality time with God for one obvious reason: I’m afraid to hear God’s answer. I’m afraid because once He give me the answer, I know I have to obey it. Will you please pray for me? Please pray for God to grant me the courage to lay down whatever plans, fears and worries I have for 2017. Please also pray that God will enable me to lay down the pride, stubborness, selfishness and self-centeredness I still have in my heart so that God can work powerfully through my life.

Thank you and may you have a blessed year ahead.

Ola!

Welcome to my blog’s  new home. ?