My close friends know how allergic I am to the word Dating. I always tend to avoid using this word even if it is used in a friendly sense. And believe it or not, I literally shudder whenever I hear this word. Blame Joshua Harris and his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I have build in my mind a negative connotation of the word dating. ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ has somehow became my life mantra.
That said, I believe you now have an idea that I don’t really go on dating so writing this post is truly quite a challenge. In fact, I’ve been meaning to post this for months but I just simply can’t finish it. I must confess that I am not really comfortable hanging out with a guy alone even if I know we’re just friends so I really don’t have much dating experience to share.
Fortunately, I still have something to share. This has happened several years ago and I am confident to say that it was really a date. Actually, it’s not something embarassing but rather awkward since the guy who asked me out was a friend. I consider him as one of my closest guy friend from high school. We became friends because he was my seatmate in 3rd year and then for some reason, we got closer as friends after college and we used to text more regularly back then. Because he was brokenhearted that time, I became his confidante. In all honesty, I never thought of any possibility of being romantically involved with him so I was surprised when he suddenly asked me if I would want to go out and watch a movie with him. Since I have this auto-friendzone feature, I thought it was a friendly hangout so I said yes. Then he told me later that it’s a date so yeah, it’s technically a date.
He asked me what movie I want to watch so I told him Alice in Wonderland and he agreed. So we watched Alice and he paid for it. Then after the movie, we ate dinner (I just can’t remember where). Looking back, I think it didn’t went well. Yes, we talked a lot but I admit I was really feeling awkward the whole time. It’s maybe because I can’t shake off some questions running at the back my mind during that time.
‘What are we doing?’
‘Why did he asked me out?’
‘What if our high school friends find out about this meeting and what would they say?’
‘How would I answer them?’
Because I don’t have the courage to voice out my questions back then, I chose to remain silent and tried to ignore those questions.
We still remained friends after that but no one dared to mention that ‘date’ once again. Then life happens and we lost communication. Though we are still friends in facebook, we don’t communicate anymore (same with my other high school friends). The last thing I’ve heard about him is that he’s already married.
So there goes my non-existent dating life.
No Ordinary Day 