So okay. It’s time to take a rest from my blogging challenge with my friend, Lynai and proceed with my other blogging commitments.
As of 9:23 am today, the last person I texted according my phone is no other than my mother. Honestly, sharing about my relationship with my mother and my family is one of the most uncomfortable and scariest thing for me and I don’t know why. It’s maybe because it’s the most vulnerable aspect of my life. Though I can say my family is not the most broken family in the world, I can’t say it’s the ideal and perfect family either. We’re not even the sweetest family you’ll ever meet, and truth-be-told, I’m not that close to them. But God knows I love them and I praise God that He’s correcting this important area of my life.
So back to my mother, as I’ve said, ours is not the perfect and ideal mother-daughter relationship. Though she’s the one I’ve known the longest, I know there is a lot of things we still don’t know about each other. Like what I’ve said in my previous post, my parents raised me as an independent and stubborn child so I grew up not depending too much on family. I always knew what I want for my life and because I was so stubborn, I always get what I want from my parents.
Though I know I’m stubborn, I can say I’m not the spoiled brat and rebellious kind of child. I’ve always known we’re not rich so my parents really need to work hard for them to provide for us. Because I know truth, I always try not to add to their burden by studying hard and giving them back the honor by excelling in school. And between my two parents, it’s always my mom who I thought was working harder for us. So seeing them suffering and working hard for us was enough proof for me to know they love us. Because of that, I didn’t grow up seeking for their attention.
So I’ve learned to enjoy life on my own with the help of my friends at school. Open communication was not also common in our household so telling my mom everything about my experiences in school was not a natural thing for me. This is the reason whenever I have problems, asking for help from them is not my default solution. Often, I will exhaust all the possible solution I can think of first before telling them. When I’ve tried everything and still my solution won’t work, that’s the only time I’ll go to my family and ask for help. And most of the times, it’s my mom whom I will call first. So yeah, my parents are always my last resort though they usually have the best solution.
Do I regret having that kind of family background? No, because I’m thankful that my parents have raised me well and trained me to learn how to live my life independently. I’m thankful that they allowed me to explore this world on my own and learn about the consequences of my own choices, and thankful that they are always there to welcome me whenever I made the wrong choices. I’m thankful that they are not overly protective to the point of limiting me from reaching my full potential but always supportive of my endeavor. And it’s funny that it’s only now that I’ve realized this.
I’ll stop here for now for I need to go somewhere. Maybe later I’ll give some concrete examples of my fond memories with my parents especially my mother.