Dear Lord

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Today, I will not complain
I will not cry out to you
And tell you how discouraged,
Frustrated and disappointed I am.

I will not tell you how much
I really want you to get me out
of this place
Nor I will ask You to take away
this cup from me

I will not tell you how sorry
I am for disobeying You
because honestly, I’m not.
I’m busy wallowing in self-pity
to think about of the graveness
Of my own sin by simply disobeying you,
That by not doing the good things
I ought to do , I have already sinned against You.
But by not being sorry about it, I also admit that I am bothered
I am bothered that
I don’t feel sorry at all.

Yes, I will not tell you about all
these things
Because I know You already
know it
And even if I say it, I know that You will not let me get out of this place without learning a lesson (or two)
Because even if I don’t like it,
You know that I need it.
So yes, I’ll rest my case.

I will not also ask for strength
because I know that my strength
Will fail sooner or later.

But today I will ask You,
That as I go through this realm of the unkown
Please hold me tight
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me slip away
Because I know that if You do,
I have nowhere else to go.

In Jesus’ name, amen.
Your daughter,
Cary

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