To be honest, this is one of my favorite questions from the challenge.
One thing that I really appreciate (and sometimes missed) about my younger self is my capability of dreaming BIG. I am a very ambitious woman by nature and I know that once I’ve set my heart and mind on something and committed to do it, I can always make things happen.
I praise Jesus that He has changed that attitude in me because He wouldn’t have a room in my life if He didn’t intervene.
As I’ve said earlier, I’ve always known what I wanted in my life, and I was very determined to accomplish it. When I was still in college, I already know what kind of job I want to have so after my graduation and right after I passed my board exam in 2008, I researched everything I need to learn and do to get the job I want. But because God is a gracious and merciful God, He allowed me to fail at least twice before I finally landed on my dream job. It’s maybe because He wanted me to remain humble and learn the truth that without Him, I am nothing. One of the things that I did during the time that I was so down because of my ‘failure’ was to identify and list down my goals in 20, 5 years and 6 months’ time. I’ve read about the goal-setting exercise from the book of my cousin so I tried to do it and write it in my notebook. I forgot (as always expected of me, haha!) about that goals when I started working so when I found my notebook again late last year, I was surprised when I realized that the deadline I’ve set for my 5-year goal was almost up. (By the way, I forgot to tell you that aside from being ambitious, I am also very impulsive so I tend to forget my commitments and change my mind a lot, and that’s why it’s also easy for me to change course. I know I have to change that attitude as well.)
Anyway, here’s what I’ve written in my notebook:
As you can see, year 2014 has passed and I haven’t started paying for my own house and I’m still paying my rent. I don’t have 300 thousand savings in my bank account, I haven’t even started my master’s degree and I am neither a professor nor a project manager.
The only thing I checked off from that list is to reach Visayas and Mindanao but the good thing about it is that I’ve been to that places for FREE! Plus, I was able to get out of the country, for free!
Do I regret and feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to achieve my goals? No. Because I know that even if someone will offer to give me everything I wanted back then in exchange for the life I have in Jesus right now, I will not accept it. Yes, I will be very happy to get it but I’m sure that it won’t last long. I know that I will still feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied and will keep on looking and searching for the meaning and purpose of life. So, thanks but no thanks. I’d rather be where I am right now, with Jesus.
I know that I made the right choice because God has never failed to affirm and confirm this truth to me. So I am happy and contented as I am right now. I may not be where I WANT to be but I thank God that I am where I NEED to be and where He wants me to be, and I know that greater things are yet to come. 😀