Today is the first day of the last month of the year. It’s the time of the year again when people here in our country become more stressed because of the Christmas rush. As for me, December is usually my most favorite month of the year, simply because I really love Christmas celebration.
However, I don’t know why but unlike the previous years, I don’t feel excited about Christmas this time. I know I should not feel this way because it’s the birth of our Savior we’re celebrating right?
But because of a number of new and unfamiliar experiences of frustrations and disappointments I had this year, I just simply want this year to end so that I can start anew next year.
One of the new and unfamiliar things that I’ve experienced this year (though I’m not sure if it’s the most accurate word to use) is betrayal. As someone who is a SanPhleg by personality type, it is really easy for me to get along with all kinds of people. I know when to act prim and proper or when to act giddy and crazy according to the type of people I’m spending time with. I can be quiet, loud, crazy, and even mean, specially when I’m with my closest friends. Because I can be patient, friendly and nice with everyone, it’s also easy for me to trust people and accept them for who they are without judgment.
This year is a year of testing of my character though because God has brought me into a situation where my patience and love for other people were tested. God has shown me the other side of this broken world and introduced me to people who are now, to my own definition, unloveable simply because they’ve hurt me. These people are the people who I thought will never do anything wrong to me but they did, so I felt betrayed. And because of this feeling of betrayal, it’s really hard for me to trust and love them again. But as a follower of Christ, I know that I am called to love. I know that the proper response to people who have hurt me is to love them still because love covers a multitude of sin. How to do this, however, is really a struggle for me.
Whenever I need guidance and affirmation whether I’m loving people the right way or not, I always go back to the Biblical definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13. The description of Apostle Paul on love in this passage has become my checklist.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
What strikes me the most from this passage is the truth that love Keeps No Record of Wrong. As a representative of Christ, it is rightful to really forgive those who have hurt me and forget what they’ve done. Honestly, I really don’t know how to do this. I know that it’s really beyond my capacity.
So dear friends, because I want to end this year right, please help me by praying for me to overcome my struggle. Please pray that God will help me forget all the hurt and enable me to have a renewed relationship with the people I’ve hurt and hurt me. Pray for me also to become more open with my feelings, online and offline alike so that I would be able to avoid misunderstanding.